Forgiveness according to the Course In Miracles (1996, p. 354) is to "remember only the loving thoughts you gave in the past and those that were given to you." This is a selective remembering. What has been selected out or forgotten? What has been conveniently forgotten includes rage, hate, hurt, pain, grief, racking sobs, helplessness and hopelessness. These are the core feelings of trauma.
These core feelings, which were not felt when the past trauma occurred, are the ones against which we most strongly defend ourselves. During past childhood trauma, we were not able to feel all feelings. Now we can, if we allow it. The Course in Miracles suggests covering over these difficult feelings once again, which reinforces the trauma. What happens to your body in this process of overlooking these difficult feelings? Typically your blood pressure rises, your pulse rate rises and your extremities (fingers and toes) temperatures drop. These physical reactions are present not only in the short term of the covering-over process but also present over the long haul. I would challenge those who have sold millions of Course in Miracles books to do some testing of their followers and their leaders to see exactly what their bodily measurements are. Selective remembering, if continued long enough, will not only yield the opposite trends in bodily measurements but also to increased disease rates and early death rates.
Genuine forgiveness is impossible, because there is truly nothing to forgive. If what you "did to me" had no effect on me, then there was no harm. If I felt hurt or harmed, then the usually unwelcome truth, if I can come to it, is that I needed that for my own growth. If I truly accept that the conscious-me and my soul co-create my reality, there would be nothing to forgive; for my feelings would be those of gratitude for your teaching.
© 2008 by Thayer White
Finding Your Soul in the Spirituality Maze
|Excerpt from Be Your Own Therapist: "Knowledge of what various therapies are trying to accomplish is often lacking in clients. How in such cases could clients have personal power? Therefore, just knowing what therapy is trying to accomplish can often be a significant step toward its accomplishment."|