Those following manifesting-what-you-want paths are often directed to try to move up some emotional ladder scale. For example, anger might be considered better than shame. Therefore, if you find yourself in shame, it is supposedly good work to try some activity or method that will move you out of shame and into anger. Each teacher may have a different scale, but the overall theme is the same; one emotion/feeling is better and more spiritual than the next. It seems to work temporarily. It does get you out of a rut.
But the long-term consequences are that you almost never get to the source of the original emotion or feeling. The root tensions and fears driving that original emotion are unexplored. I think it happiest in the long run to believe that everything we get is exactly what we need. Therefore, when I get some piece of unhappiness, it indicates that my soul is trying to get me to grow. In my opinion, avoiding the pain or anguish of unhappy feelings by searching out other "better" feelings disrespects what my soul has given me.
Thus, while the immediate results of climbing some emotional ladder may be a feeling of easing of tension, the long-term consequences are likely to be increased stress in your life. The emotional ladder just becomes another quick-fix trap and/or a feel-good trap (two traps discussed in Chapter 1).
As someone who has deeply explored feelings and emotions for almost four decades, I consider such emotional ladders seductive and without much value. While we each tend to have our emotional patterns of release and change, they are often variable and don't usually follow some well-defined ladder pattern. Moreover, I never think of one emotion as being preferable or better than another. An emotion is. The happiest path for me and for you is to love what is, including all emotions. By feeling our emotions in healthy ways, they automatically shift away from the unhappy emotions. However, we may need to go through some pain, anger, rage and grief to be able to let the unhappy feelings go. (Much more on emotions may be found in Chapter 11.)
© 2008 by Thayer White
Finding Your Soul in the Spirituality Maze
|Excerpt from Be Your Own Therapist: "Post Traumatic Stress = instant simplified diagnosis of the 97% of us who grew up in dysfunctional families (see Chapter 16 for more about our dysfunctional families). Almost all of us suffer still from unhealed traumas suffered at the hands of both parents and society during our first 18 years."|