The second core element in trauma knots that is frequently bypassed is that of hurt (and its relatives of pain, abandonment, loss, emptiness, depression, dullness, grief, sadness and aloneness). Who really wants to feel these feelings? You do! If you want to move through and beyond your traumas, then these must be felt. You will be forever trying to avoid situations and events that trigger your traumas and the hurts within those traumas if you are unwilling to feel the hurting aspects of being human. It is an unwelcome fact that unwanted situations that trigger our trauma knots will happen despite our efforts at avoidance. Did you know that millions now believe that such avoidance draws those unhappy experiences to us?
Am I stuck in hurt? If I am hurt a lot by current events in my life, I am probably stuck trying to avoid childhood hurts (or other elements of trauma knots, particularly hatred). If feeling my hurt doesn't ease it and eventually eliminate it, I'm stuck. If I still feel hurt by any previous experience, then I have therapy work to do.
Frequently, the operative words of the inner child that help move us through hurt feelings are, "You hurt me when you ___." Such words often bring us immediately into our feelings of grief, which will often be enough to release a trauma knot permanently, particularly if the hatred about that trauma has already been felt.
© 2008 by Thayer White
Finding Your Soul in the Spirituality Maze
|Excerpt from Be Your Own Therapist: "What is locked up in the shock of trauma? Words, emotions, sensations and thoughts are four important prisoners incarcerated by partial or complete loss of memory. Freeing any one of these prisoners will help to heal the trauma."|