My Long Long Long Primal Vacations

My Primal History:   I started doing primal in 1970 by myself, even before reading Dr. Janov's first book, and kept on doing it relatively successfully until my three-week intensive in 1973 with an ex-Janov-Primal-Institute-therapist. By then I had done my major anger/hate work and had broken through to surrendering to grief with the help of a non-primal Gestalt therapist. This 1973 primal intensive was not particularly productive, and at the time I blamed the therapist. (Now I really 'get it' how my higher self wanted me to pace my growth out over decades, not just a few years.) After about a year, I stopped going to primal groups because they did not seem to be productive (and they weren't). From 1974 to 1980, I did very little primal, and I consider it not effective as a primal time. Then in a relationship for three years with another primal person, I restarted primal work (she and I did primal together) with what I now consider moderate success. But I eventually became stuck on one of my earliest major traumas (occurring from age 3-6 months old) and just got fragments of the feelings involved. The relationship ended and so did my primal efforts for the next 18 years.

Then in 2002, with the coming of another person in my life that it seemed inevitable to do primal with, I restarted primal and had much progress. Now, many primal folks would say that I wasted 18 years and that if I had just gone out earlier I could have found someone else 18 years earlier to work with. I don't think so. I think I needed those 18 years to go back to psychology school (NOT primal), get my degree and credentials and set myself up for 2002 so that I would be ready for that new person. In fact, if I had the knowledge in 2002 that I have now, I would have short-circuited the work we did and not accomplished as much. That primal work we did together continued for a couple of years and then ended.

Since that time in 2004, I seem to have a primal pattern of getting into feelings maybe once every week or two and it is rather quick and easy (often just 3-20 minutes) once I finally acknowledge I have work to do. I still resist knowing and use my blood pressure measurement to tell me the truth I still seem to want to avoid. If my systolic blood pressure is 125 or more when I wake up, I do finally say to myself, "Do some primal." And primal usually feels effective and reveals the truth of it with a drop in blood pressure of about 7-10 points the following morning. (A rare MAJOR primal will cause a drop of 25 points.)

Where from Here?   Please start measuring your own processes to find out what is really happening with your body. Your neurosis does not want you to know the truth.

Primal Therapy Companion